


Memories are Stronger than Nightmares

by Leoblooms



Category: The Beatles
Genre: AU, M/M, there's at least reference to it, this is sorta realted to the day john met paul so it makes sense to post this today
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 14:05:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11419566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leoblooms/pseuds/Leoblooms
Summary: AU in which John and Paul are married to each other, and John survives the shooting. Of course surviving does not mean coming out unscathed as John deals with the aftermath effects, including nightmares.





	Memories are Stronger than Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> So here's a short little story with another married John and Paul au. Hope you enjoy, and happy July 6th!

John’s eyes snapped open to nothing but darkness in front of him. His breath became ragged and thick sweat condensed on his forehead, trickling down his quivering skin. The sharp gasp that left his mouth seemingly echoed and shot through the room like the quickest bullet. 

 It was that dream again, well, if you could call it a  _dream,_ perhaps a nightmare instead. It always went the same way, him and Paul getting out of their car, demo tapes in his hands as they rose up. He would look at his husband’s grinning face before turning to make his way to their apartment. Then,  _BANG! BANG! BANG!_ The scream of his husband ringing out in the chilled air while his body collapsed onto the hard ground. The last thing he can remember before waking up is screaming, “I’m shot!” Then, just like every night, John would awake in a cold sweat, shaking violently. 

The nightmare felt so real, as though he were re-living the horrible event each and every time. The chill in the air, the sounds of the city, and even the hardness of the unforgiving ground that his face smashed against. And the scream, the God damn  _scream_ from Paul that froze his veins. He remembered it all too well, from real life and his nightmares. His mind ensured him that he’d never forget it, no matter how hard he tried. John’s body still shook as he lied on his side, his breathing still labored and painful. Then came the usual burning of his scars on his back and shoulders. Biting his lip, John gripped the sheets with his eyes squeezed shut as the urge to scratch at the old, healing bullet wounds that polluted his body came to be. It hurt so much, it burned, itched, and pained the man so greatly.  

“…John?” came the voice of his husband. The older man’s eyes opened yet again as he attempted to calm his breathing once and for all. 

“Yeah?” John answered in a scratchy voice with the most nonchalant tone possible. He only just felt the tight grip of Paul’s arms around his waist, holding his quivering body closer.  

“What’s wrong, love? Did you have that dream again?” John sighed. 

“Yeah.” Then it was Paul’s turn to sigh. 

“I’m sorry, Johnny,” Paul whispered, digging his chin into John’s shoulder.  

“Not your fault, is it?”  

“Do you wanna talk about it at all, John?”  

“Not much to talk about now, is there?” John muttered, ashamed of how fearful he appeared to the other man. Then, the warmth of Paul began to separate from John, the strong arms beginning to unhook from his middle. Most likely to turn on the lights, which John definitely did  _not_ want. The last thing he wanted was to have to have his husband see him like this.  

“Please don’t move, Paulie,” John practically begged, and thankfully it had worked. With little to no argument, Paul took to his form position behind John. 

“Alright, I won’t move.” 

Silence overcame the two as another tremor ripped through John’s body, the faint itch creeping up on him.  

“What are you thinking?” Paul asked.  

John shrugged. “Nothing,” he answered with an empty voice.  

“You know what I’m thinking of, love? I’m thinking about when we first met. You know when I was still some fat little teenager, and you were this ted?” Paul began, earning a confused grunt from the older man. John heard him continue on, the arms around him tightening once again. “I remember thinking you were so cool and interesting, so out if my own grip. You looked to be on a whole new level, one I could not reach no matter how hard I tried. Can’t believe how dead wrong I was considering I’ve  _married_ that same ted.” John actually found a faint smile form on his face at the memory of meeting the love of his life so long ago. His youthful face and the quiff of hair he wore that made his resemble Elvis. He could not forget it if he tried. 

“You know what else I remember, Johnny? I remember all the trouble we’d cause together, like Hamburg and all. We’d get thrown in jail, but that never stopped you later. I always thought you were the most daring and brave lad I’ve ever known.” There came the swift kick to John’s gut. He didn’t feel so brave like he once did when he was young. That brave ted Paul was thinking about, now a shaking flower in his arms in the middle of the night. Disgust and shame spread through him even further, thinking about how he let the other man down almost. But then Paul spoke again.  

“I  _thought_  you were the bravest then, but I  _know_ you’re the bravest now. After all that came about from our public marriage, you still held such a confident face. You knew we’d come out alright, even if there were troubles along the way. You were definitely braver than me on the whole situation.” Were those hot tears pricking at John’s eyes?  

“The point is, John, that I know it’s hard dealing with what happened. I still get nightmares about that night too, but you’ll get through it, you always do. I’ll help you love, but don’t think for a second that you’re weak. If you were a weak man, you wouldn’t be here right now.” John said nothing, the salty tears slowly streaking down his face, to the pillow.  

“John, love?”  

“I love you, Paulie,” he rasped, turning to his other side to face the younger man. Though it was dark, and his vision blurred, John could somehow sense Paul’s eyes on him.  

“I love you too, baby,” Paul said, gentle fingers swiping at the droplets still on John’s cheeks. Then, he pressed his lips to John for a short, but reassuring kiss. It might not have been anything spectacular, but it was all John wanted or needed for the time.  

“Paul?” 

“Hm?” 

“Thanks.” John knew in his heart Paul was smiling now as he gave another hum before willing him back to sleep. John did so, embracing the warmth of the other man wrapped around him as though he were a security blanket.

The dream did not return that night.


End file.
